Why my protagonist has to suffer tonight.

Some who have been following me for a while will know I rewrote Blood Toy from the ground up three times.  One of those times I wrote my protagonist (who has been widely admired, even by reviewers who didn’t particularly care for the book, for her strength and endurance in the face of torment) as clinically depressed–and depressing!  Seriously, I might as well have named her ‘Vampire Hunter Eeyore’.  My best friend asked me when I was nearly done with that draft, “How is Diane ever going to beat Desollador?”  Turned out to be a good question.  One I couldn’t answer.  So I had to rewrite the damn thing.

You’ve heard, I’m sure, all artists are crazy.  You’ve also heard that writers write what they know. And maybe that all characters are reflections of their author’s own personality.  So it figures that I wrote Diane in that depressive state when I was battling depression myself and using writing as a sort of therapy.  It’s frankly easier to write when I’m about half a bubble off plumb.  That does not mean I write well in that state.  In fact, I can almost guarantee I produce nothing befitting more than a diary entry when I’m feeling under the emotional weather.

I found myself going down that path in Book 2 briefly when the days got shorter last fall. But instead of having Diane succumb to despair, I made her circumstances more despairing.  Ok, maybe she succumbs briefly, but you won’t blame her; I promise.  Now approximately three quarters into the book, it’s time for her to start clawing her way back out.  But first…maybe just a few more rounds of fire.



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